rhymes with "ouble enetration"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
