Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
