THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
