At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
