I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
