Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
