yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
