Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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