Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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