Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
