dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
