I look better un-naked...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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