There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
