tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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