K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
