She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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