Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
