Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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