i don't like sucking hair
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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