Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
