Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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