What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
