small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
