a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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