can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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