i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
