that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
