Screwed.edu
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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