dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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