actually, I'm a sock model
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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