It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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