Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
another moral hangover. fuck.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
