all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
