Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize