I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
