i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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