some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
