Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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