The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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