I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's official drugs can't kill me
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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