How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
