Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we made out on top of his cat.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
