I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
