what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
And then he peed in my hair
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