I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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