im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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