Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize