No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
