Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
