dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
