You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
