you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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