So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
