as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
