And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
