So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize