you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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