i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
