I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize