I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
