I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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