My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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