Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
