Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
