I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
