I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
